There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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