In America we eat man semen.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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