My hand turned me down
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
you told grandpa to call you daddy
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
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