it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
