i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
