he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
