I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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