he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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