Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
You dont lie about slip and slides
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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