the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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