He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize
