I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
