I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
