I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
