From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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