Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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