we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
