Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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