You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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