On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
