One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Do vagina's smell?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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