giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
