farters have to be the big spoon...
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
