drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I wish they made helmets for livers.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
