i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
