Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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