You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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