therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
My cat gives me a boner
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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