is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize