I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
