I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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