please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
