Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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