Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize