So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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