I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
