Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
