He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
