Where is the hickey?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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