I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
