call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Just invented taco cereal.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
