I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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