dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
