guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Just cropdusted the office
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
The beer is more important than you right now.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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