Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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