Are we in a gay sports bar?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
