If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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