i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
