Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
what the fuck happened to the tacos
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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