My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
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