what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
