Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
