im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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