sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
