Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
